James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell
The Phantom slowly,
gravely, silently, approached. When it came near him, Ebenezer Scribe bent down
upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to
scatter gloom and mystery.
“I am in the presence of the Ghost of Writing Yet To Come?”
said Scribe.
The Spirit answered not,
but pointed onward with its hand.
“You are about to show me
shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time
before us,” Scribe pursued. “Is that so, Spirit?”
The upper portion of the
garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had
inclined its head. That was the only answer he received.
Scribe feared the silent
shape so much that his legs trembled beneath him, and he found that he could
hardly stand when he prepared to follow it. The Spirit paused a moment, as
observing his condition, and giving him time to recover. It was something out of a Stephen King novel.
Scribe, in his youth, had once wished to be "another Stephen King."
“Ghost of the Future!”
Scribe exclaimed, “I fear you more than any spectre I have seen. But as I know
your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be another writer from
what I was, I am prepared to bear you company. Will you not speak to me?”
It gave him no reply. The
hand was pointed straight before them. The Spirit guided him onward.
Presently, it stopped
beside one little knot of writers at a local Starbucks. Observing that the hand
was pointed to them, Scribe advanced to listen to their talk.
“No,” said a great fat man
with a monstrous chin, “I don’t know much about it, either way. I only know
he’s dead.”
“When did he die?”
inquired another.
“Last night, I believe.”
“Why, what was the matter
with him?” asked a third, breaking off a vast chunk of zucchini muffin and
stuffing his cheek.
“God knows,” said the
first, with a yawn.
“How many books did he
actually write?” asked a red-faced gentleman with a pendulous excrescence on
the end of his nose, that shook like the gills of a turkey-cock.
“Not many,” said the man
with the large chin, yawning again. “He quit writing some time ago. Didn’t
think he was good enough. At least, not as good as we!”
This pleasantry was
received with a general laugh.
“It’s likely to be a very
cheap funeral,” said the same speaker; “for he did not make any money
self-publishing.”
“Because he did not think
of it as a business,” said the red-faced man. “Nor did he keep producing new
work.”
“Which is what we should
be doing,” said the one with the muffin.
“Oh shut up,” said the
large-chinned man.
The Spirit beckoned Scribe
to follow, and soon they were in an obscure part of the town, where Scribe had
never penetrated before, although he recognized its situation, and its bad
repute.
Far in this den of infamous
resort, there was a low-browed, beetling shop. Sitting in among the wares he
dealt in, by a charcoal stove made of old bricks, was a grey-haired rascal,
nearly seventy years of age; who had screened himself from the cold air
without, by a frousy curtaining of miscellaneous tatters, hung upon a line; and
smoked his pipe in all the luxury of calm retirement.
Scribe and the Phantom
came into the presence of this man, just as a woman with a heavy bundle slunk
into the shop. She opened the bundle before him and exposed three books.
“Here it is, Joe,” the
woman said, laughing. “All the writing books he owned, poor soul.”
The old man removed his
pipe and took each book up, one at a time. “Why, none of these books is
highlighted,” he said with contempt.
“I was his housekeeper, I
was,” the woman said, “and I never saw him study a single book. He always said
writing couldn’t be learned, you know, and these books was gifts to ‘im, but I
don’t see as how they did ‘im any good that way.”
“None at all,” Joe agreed. “He who ignores discipline
comes to poverty and shame, the Good Book says, and if he fancied himself a
writer he shouldn’t’ve listened to the likes of the naysayers.”
“He didn’t even have a
word quota, more’s the pity.”
“And would I be in my
exalted position if I did not practice industry daily?” Joe said. “Here, a
sixpence for the lot and not a farthing more. I’ll sell ‘em to a young writer
who actually has the moxie to write and never quit.”
“Spirit!” Scribe said.
“This is a fearful place. Let us go!”
The Ghost pointed with an
unmoved finger toward the books.
“Yes, I know I must study
the craft,” Scribe returned, “and I know I must write to a quota, and I would
do it if I could. But I have not the power, Spirit. I have not the power!”
The Spirit tweaked Scribe
on the head with a bony finger. Thwack!
“Ouch!” Scribe said.
“Okay! I get it! Hear me! I am not the writer I was. Why show me this, if I am
past all hope!”
For the first time the
hand appeared to shake.
“Good Spirit,” he pursued,
as down upon the ground he fell before it: “Your nature intercedes for me, and
pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by
a disciplined writing life!”
The kind hand now made the Okay sign.
“I will honor writing in
my heart, and try to keep at it all the year! I will develop ideas and write
novels and actually finish them! I will not shut out the lessons you teach!”
In his agony, he caught
the spectral hand. It sought to free itself, but he was strong in his entreaty,
and detained it. The Spirit, stronger yet, repulsed him.
Holding up his hands in a
last prayer to have his fate reversed, he saw an alteration in the Phantom’s
hood and dress. It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindled down into a bedpost.
A bedpost Scribe was
clutching with his hands.
He was back! In his own
bed!
Running to the window, he
opened it, and put out his head. “What’s to-day!” cried Scribe, calling
downward to a boy.
“Eh?” returned the boy.
“What’s to-day, my fine
fellow?” said Scribe.
“To-day!” replied the boy.
“Why, it’s the start of NaNoWriMo!”
“NaNoWriMo!” said Scribe
to himself. “Then I haven’t missed it!” And then to the boy: “Hallo, my fine
fellow, do you know the grocers, in the next street but one, at the corner?”
“I should hope I did,”
replied the lad.
“An intelligent boy!” said
Scribe. “A remarkable boy! Run and fetch me as many packages of ground French
Roast as this’ll buy!” He threw two twenties out the window to the boy. “Come back with the coffee
in ten minutes and I’ll give you a shilling!”
“What’s a shilling?”
“Come back in less than
ten minutes and I’ll give you half-a-crown!”
“Whatever,” said the lad,
and ran away.
Scribe ran to his
computer. He turned it on and opened a blank Word document and wrote “Chapter
One” and skipped down two spaces. “In all the time I have left on this earth,”
he said to himself, “I am going to write. I am never going to stop. I’m going
to set a word goal for every week, and I’m going to study those books I have,
and buy more! I am determined to get better with each project! And I’m going to
develop more than one idea at a time! For I am a writer! That’s what the
Spirits wanted me to know! And I can only be stopped if I give up!”
Scribe was better than his
word. He did it all, and infinitely more. He completed his NaNoWriMo novel,
self-edited it, got feedback from beta readers, edited it again, and had it
edited by a professional. He became as disciplined a writer as the old city
knew, or any other old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people
laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded
them. His own heart laughed, for he was a true writer now, and that was quite
enough for him. For he knew that the writing game favors those who produce and
risk and sometime fail, but always come back bravely to the page to risk and
write again.
May that be truly said of
us, and all of us! And so, God bless us, every one!




As I read this I chuckled, looked at my growing stack of books on the craft of writing, and said to myself, "Self, get to it. You have much to read and much to write. You have many word goals to make and reach."
ReplyDeleteTo you I say, Merry Christmas Jim!
Very clever, and funny, and (sadly) relevant.
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmas, and God bless us, everyone!
This was great. And spot-on. Learn,glean, write, grow, repeat. Thanks for sparing the rest of us the chains of unwritten novels and articles we risked forging in this life.
ReplyDeleteTruly appropriate. Must memorize and repeat parts of this to myself every freaking morning. Willpower, I know thee not.
ReplyDeleteThis was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteOn to the learning! I just got my second edition of Revision and Self Editing, and I am excited to use those deepening exercises...
Beautiful use of a classic story of facing a dismal future and fashioning a new life before it is too late. Like Scrooge, writers can change their ways.
ReplyDeleteLearn by doing, and apply that learning by further practice.
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Great post, Jim. And totally encouraging. Thank you. I predict 2013 to be a special and successful year for those writers like myself who finally believe in ourselves. May you have a Merry, Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Mr. Bell, as always. If you're ever in Kansas City, let me know and I'll treat you to some of the best barbecue in the country.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to all!
Thanks for the glad tidings, one and all. I do think we can gain inspiration from Mr. Scribe here. It's never too late, so long as the desire to write is real.
ReplyDeleteHappy clacking away in 2013.
Merry Christmas, Jim!
ReplyDeleteI bet this is going to be part of your writing classes isn't it?
The Spirit tweaked Scribe on the head with a bony finger. Thwack!
“Ouch!” Scribe said. “Okay! I get it!
And I can see you thwacking away with pleasure. :)
Jill
I do hope the ghost of Mr. Dickens didn't mind the bony tweak. But as i was shaping this, it seemed like just the think Scribe needed. Indeed, many a writer, too.
DeleteLOL! Okay, okay, I've been "Scribed" and I shall repent. And speaking of being gifted books, one of my critique group buddies gave me your book, Revision and Self-Editing for Publication, 2nd Ed., for Christmas, and I intended to mark it up thoroughly with highlighters. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Dickensian Christmas kick-in-the-pants!
A post I much needed, Jim. Thank you for the not-so-subtle nudge to get cracking.
ReplyDeleteAnd a Merry Christmas to all!
Back atcha, writer friends.
ReplyDeleteI heart this to infinity squared and divided by zero.
ReplyDelete"THWACK!"
::rubs cheek::
Ow, but thanks, I needed that . . .
Terri
Just catching this now but what a hoot! I dare say, I'm not brave enough for NaNoWriMo but this gives me a good writing boost for the New Year. I need more than French Roast for this though, 2 lbs of DeadMan's Reach would bring my writing back from the grave and spark new life!
ReplyDelete