It seems pretty obvious Vampires take up more than their fair share of resources, don't you think?
This is sounding pretty good for a vampire's carbon footprint, except for the fact that for most vampires, one person equals one meal. Tsk. Tsk. Really, vampires of the world, do you have any idea how much it takes to get a pretty young maiden to eighteen in this country? In purely financial terms, estimates range from $38,027 to $104,532. Do you know how many McDonald's Happy Meals the average eighteen year old has eaten? I don't, but I imagine it's a lot. Let's face it, puberty, is one long Fry Emergency. In cow farts alone, the cost of producing one young maiden must be astronomical. No wonder cow methane is such a big pollutant!